Thin privilege isn’t just the fact that shows like The Biggest Loser exist. Thin privilege is also how these sort of shows are advertised.
The Australian version of The Biggest Loser recently started, and the commercial for the newest episode has a “professional”…
but, these people choose to be on the show after knowing exactly what it’s like, i dont get your argument
And people choose to stay with abusive partners, often because they think they ought to, much like fat people think they ought to do anything it takes to lose weight. Some people even go into relationships expecting to experience what we know is abusive behavior (in particular, I’m thinking of certain Christian groups that actively state that a husband should beat his wife and parents beat their children). Does that make it less abusive?
And the actual treatment of “contestants” on those shows is not what appears on screen, by the way. They don’t show people being forced to exercise with broken bones and illnesses, they don’t show the massive emotional and mental abuse, they don’t show the forced dehydration. People who want to go on those shows think that it’s a more immersive version of those “boot camp” classes. They aren’t. Go read up on what actually happens.
But even if people knew exactly what they were getting themselves into, those shows would still be abusive. Do not blame victims for abuse. It’s a horrible thing to do.
Shut the fuck up, you did NOT just equate someone volunteering and submitting themselves to be on a television show to ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS. No one thinks they OUGHT TO stay! What are you even talking about?!
I am so infuriated right now.
On the contrary, I have known a number of people who thought they ought to stay. Because God told them to, or because of the children, or because they promised, or because their abusive partner needed them. All kinds of reasons. It’s actually one of the major ways abusers get their victims to stay in relationships, is convincing them they OUGHT TO stay.
If you think no one thinks they OUGHT TO stay, then you know jack shit about broader patterns of abuse.
And don’t ever assume that other people aren’t speaking from experience.
Except we don’t think we OUGHT to or SHOULD stay. We think that we HAVE to stay because if we don’t, they’ll come AFTER us and we’ll die either way,
Never assume that someone isn’t speaking from experience? Ok, I’ll buy that you’ve been there. But VOLUNTEERING and BEING TRAPPED aren’t even REMOTELY similar. The people on those shows are allowed to LEAVE at ANY TIME. They stay because they want to. Abuse victims don’t stay because they want to or think they should. How DARE you? Especially if you’re a survivor? You’re dismissing everything WE’VE been through as well as what YOU’VE been through.
YOU thought you HAD TO stay. I thought I ought to stay. Many people did and do. Many people think they have an obligation, that they should actually be grateful for whatever relationship they have. This is a very real phenomenon. It is especially true of people who come from abusive families, who think that abuse is normal and expected. And it doesn’t help anybody to deny that that happens.
You speak from your experience. That’s fine. But many survivors also talk about feeling that they ought to stay.
Oh, and actually, they make it extremely difficult for TBL participants to leave. They have legal contracts, they take away keys, they deny contact with the outside world, they don’t allow access to transportation or money. Again, classic abusive patterns.
Not, of course, that people who apply to be on TBL know all of those details, any more than people who get into abusive relationships know all of the details of what they’re getting into. Do you think TBL advertises exactly how it treats people? Do you think they show every moment?
When you say no one does this or that, you are not speaking about your experiences, you are telling other people that theirs must have been the way you think they were. I am not telling you what your experiences were, I am telling you what mine were, and repeated what the experiences other people have related were.
Their statement that all abuse victims stay out of fear isn’t even true.
My aunt stayed with her abusive asshole of a husband for over 20 years. Not because he was violent or likely to track her down: he had a previous wife he never bothered with because he was too lazy and stupid to even bother being angry.
She stayed because she is a strictly religious person and believes that divorce is wrong. Even now that she has left him, she refuses to date anyone else because she thinks it would be morally wrong.
She stayed with an emotionally abusive man for over 20 years because she felt like that was what she ought to do. She was told by her church and her family that “you made your bed and now you have to lie in it,” and she believed that.
When she finally did leave, there was literally nothing else stopping her but her own unwillingness to give up, based on what she thought she should do. She had a place to move into, and an extended family to support her. Her ex has never threatened or bothered her, and they are on basically cordial terms. But that doesn’t change the fact that it was a terribly abusive relationship when they were married.
Now the fat haters are making up lies about abuse victims in order to defend a different type of abuser. Sickening.